Marcellus was born on 10/28/2011 at 28 weeks gestation. He died after a short but tough battle with NEC on 11/09/2011. 12 days with my son, 12 days that changed me forever. Marcellus was a fighter and such a beautiful baby. This is an attempt to work through my feelings and grief. I love him, I love my wife, I love my family.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
This Morning
I slept in late, but then got up and started my morning routine. He soon crept into my thoughts as he always does in the morning. I
am glad to think of him so often. I have a faint smile when I think of
him sometimes, but most of the mornings I carry a heavy heart. I try
to quell that heart with coffee and the computer. Distractions do wonders when you are in grief. I decided this morning that after breakfast and a few really good songs that I would get up and start picking up the living areas. I noticed my steps are heavy as I move about, picking up random memories of his life and death strewn about like seeds waiting to trigger a reaction in my heart. The house is starting to look a little better as I organize and clean up. But it will never look good, my baby is not watching me intently as I pick up and watch him while mommy grabs a few extra hours of sleep. My heart is heavy because he is trying to hang on to me as I work, I carry my son with me always and forever will.
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