Its the 28th again, and that means a monthly birthday for my boy. We are still very much in that age where birthdays go by month until some point in time when we start counting by years. 5 months today, just think of how much he would have grown. How big he would be, the facial expressions, the coo's, laughs, giggles, little things I miss and I never even heard or seen them. But these are not the things we are focused with on his birthday.
We are focused on things to remember him by. In the next few months we have a lot of things coming together that will show the world that my wife and I love our son more than we love ourselves. That we miss him so terribly much that it is impossible to describe. We are putting in his headstone in the end of May, a beautiful dark blue stone without too much flashiness yet so much personalization. As much as I will hate to see his name carved into eternity I want him to be justifiably marked the same as any other person in that cemetery. A month from today we are marching for him at March of Babies in Durham. We have raised way more money than I could have thought of and it is truly humbling to know that so many people have come forward in support and share how he has touched their lives as well. And in less than two hours we are driving to a neighborhood park where we are getting a tree planted in his honor! It is a maple tree with a plaque and its being put in by the parks system here. He will have a space in Raleigh were we can go to honor him!
But I would trade all this in for the chance of spending his 5 month birthday playing with him on the mat, taking a picture of him and posting it on the fb for our friends to see how well he is doing, maybe even catching a birthday nap. Hearing him laugh, coo, giggle.... Thats what I want for his 5 month birthday.
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